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If You Are a Victim of Adultery Aug 29 2008


"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." - Ephesians 4:32

Nothing devastates a home like adultery. If you are a victim of that sin you know the deep personal hurt it causes you. And the consequences are so severe that God has said that you may choose to end your marriage if you are the victim. He does give you that right.

If you are the spouse who has been sinned against, please also know this. There's no doubt that God desires reconciliation in your marriage. Reconciliation is difficult, requiring repentance on the part of the adulterer, as well as a supernatural forgiveness from the one who has been sinned against. Forgiving your spouse may be the most difficult thing you will ever do in your life. And it is impossible to do without the power of Jesus Christ.

Yes, divorce is your right. But know that the desire of the Lord is for marriages to be reconciled. It will take superhuman effort on your part and it will take years to build that trust again. But in the long run, for your marriage, for your children, and for you, it can be the right decision to make.

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No, don't think so. There are too msny diseases - some don't even show up right away. No. I take the Word seriously, and I know that God would honor my decision to divorce if my hubby committed adultery. That is a deal breaker that he and I already discussed. It is a shame that it happens in Christian homes...because they think that their Christian spouse would forgive them. It is not better for the kids to see that it is acceptable. It wouldn't be fair for them to have to witness the hostility and lack of affection and lack of respect that follows such a huge humiliation. I wouldn't stay with my husband if he cheated - no way. With what is written here, I guess it would be okay for me to cheat if he did - he'd forgive me, he would have to because God would want our marriage to stay together...bull.

 
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Wendy, I will have to agree with you on this one 100%. One of the greatest phrases I ever heard in regards to an adulterer:

"They don't regret what they did. They just regret getting caught".

 
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The Lord is generous with His mercy and He calls us to be merciful also.
Matthew 5:7 Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.

 
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I agree also but is it really about us or the kids? Well if no kids then no, leave go away, far away.

 
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I definitely agree with the reconciliation part. I know of a man who didn't "get caught". Yet he caught himself and he confessed to his wife and children. IT WAS devastating for those around him. He left his job, where the source that took him into an adulterous relationship and the neglect of his wife led him as well, just as the Lyrics imply in Casting Crowns "Slow Fade" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-8SYA6rfbs. It took a lot of courage for him to do so. I see the results of his reconciliation with his wife. Their relationship through the power of God has already begun to mend and they are actually stronger than they were before.
If people would work on their relationship with God, and their families and the church in that order instead of running away to other relationships or other gods that they think are good, we'd be a stronger nation. Satan is out to destroy the family structure the original plan of Adam and Eve, one man, one woman in a relationship of peace and harmony, living in obedience to God and his order, when we slowly start bending the rules in our relationships of God's order we allow him a foothold for adultery. I strongly agree with the difficult task of reconciliation first rather than running away. For I have seen firsthand the rare power of forgiveness in our church and through a close friend. It is rare, yet a precious gem, and only by the power of prayer and relationship in Christ. Praise God for the healing in our church and for the man and his family where I have seen the superhuman effort of reconciliation.

 
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While I agree that adultery is wrong, I feel that if we love the person that we married we should at least consider forgiveness. Don''t be like the people that caught the woman in adultery and were going to stone her. If we have even thought for just one moment about a person of the opposite sex that is not our mate, then we have committed adultery in our heart. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

 
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Very good SK, I like what you wrote. Yes the first thing we need to make sure of is that our relationship with the Lord is what it should be,then we need to put satan on notice that we are not his property, we belong to God, and then we should allways be working towards the ever strengthening of our marriage and family values. If we will do this we wont have to worry about having to apoligize for a sin that we could have resisted. I have been faced with this same temptation in the past but thru the grace of God I did resist it. I am glad and thankful that I did and I don't have to worry about begging for my wifes forgiveness.It is not a sin to be tempted just make sure that we didn't intice the temptation. God bless and have a good day.

 
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I do believe in forgiveness. The Bible is very specific that you may divorce if adultery is committed. That is because it is that bad. Whether or not the person is caught they still leave their family open to so much pain, humiliation, and even danger. The other spouse is at risk for herpes, genital wart, AIDS, etc...The other spouse has to most likely deal with other people knowing about the affair and walk around humiliated. The other spouse may have to deal with the 'mistress' or male equivalent calling, driving past house, etc because they may not want the relationship to end. There are so many issues that go along with this....you CAN forgive AND divorce, you know!! I do believe that Satan does want to destroy marriages and that is why the Bible tells us to marry someone that is equally yoked. If a man or woman knows the Word, then they know that divorce is the consequence and that they are taking a chance of destroying so many lives for pleasures of the flesh...I believe that we need to keep our marriages together by having a healthy sex life with our spouses. God wants us to!! When we stay connected physically, spiritually, and emotionally to our spouse there is no excuse for adultery. I love my husband - I enjoy being with him every way and I could never imagine throwing all that away for another man. Keep in mind that someone who cheats may very well have it in the back of their mind that their spouse will forgive because that is the Christian thing to do...I am just saying it is bull. If that is the case, then why shouldn't the victim get some outside the marriage as well??

 
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So...Wendy...it matters what the person's original thoughts were when they sinned as to whether or not we should forgive them?? God holds us to a much higher standard than that. We are called to forgive not matter what...even without an apology.

 
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I don't mean to sound like I'm making light of the hurt that adultry can cause. I'm just saying that we can't rate sins and pick and choose what is unforgivable. Divorce or not, we are called to forgive. Left on our own, it's impossible. We can only truly forgive with the help and love of Jesus Christ.

 
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I do forgive without apology. A recent example would be my mother in law treating me like crap. I am not saying that forgiveness is based on forethought, but rather you can forgive your spouse, but that doesn't mean you can't divorce him. You can the Bible is specific about that. You can forgive, divorce, and leave him to be judged by the God. I think you are confused by my opinion. I am sorry for that. My point is that you can forgive and divorce - you don't have to stay to forgive. Does that make better sense to you?

 
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Wendy,
Believers are called to be transformed from a human perspective to a Christ-like perspective. And I think it is easy,when a person has experienced the profound wounding and hurt that comes from having a spouse that commits adultery, in our anguish to fall back to our "natural" self and desire: revenge, divorce, or to "get some" outside of marriage as well.
But regardless of the original offending spouse's mind-set regarding the possibility of being "forgiven" later; it seems to me the answer to your ending question (..."then why shouldn't the victim get some outside the marriage as well??") is simple, if "the victim" is a believer.....

...because it's wrong.

 
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We are all sinners needing the salvation and forgiveness that Christ offers us. I need forgiveness every day and I need to forgive every day. He is SO good to all of us. We just need to repent and ask His forgiveness.

 
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You can forgive and divorce. One is not contingent on the other. Read Matthew 5:27-32 AND I Corinth 7:1-5. Anyway, divorce is not revenge - it is the end of a marriage. The Bible allows us divorce in the situation of adultery. You can FORGIVE and DIVORCE. Forgiveness.

 
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Wendy, we realize that Christ allows us to divorce with adultry in a marriage. He first asks us to forgive and reconcile whenever possible. Your original comment states that you would never consider reconciliation if your spouse cheated..."no way". That, along with your comments that someone would think that they could cheat and get away with it because their Christian spouse would have to forgive, is where there is disagreement. Once again, as Christians, we are called to aspire to a higher standard of behavior.

 
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I am sorry that I feel compelled to defend myself. I don't have to defend myself. The Word is clear that we can divorce. If my husband would cheat on me I would forgive him and then divorce him. I don't think physically he could cheat on me, as we are extremely active with one another in many ways. I pray that none of this happens to any of us on this message board or of anyone I know. I apologize if I cam off as rude.

 
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Yes, I believe God's word allows divorce in the case of adultery because, regardless of whether forgiveness has taken place, the devastating consequences of adultery are still there and the cumulative affects of those consequences may make it intolerable for the victim to continue to remain in the marriage.
Peace and blessings to all.

 
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You can forgive and reconcile - that does not mean you have to stay married to them. I do think that people cheat because they think they can get away with it and if they are caught that they will be forgiven. I do say no way. That is because my husband and I agreed to that in our marriage. That is between God, my husband, and myself. I do all that is possible to affair proof my marriage. I am a very good wife to him in sooo many ways. He is a good husband to me in soooo many ways. Maybe if more Christians realized that you can really have a blast in the sack and still love God with your spouse, adultery would not be such a huge issue in Christian marriages. So many people are too uptight about sex. They think that is wrong to love it and enjoy it frequently and without inhibition with your own spouse....it is a shame. I teach my kids that it is a wonderful gift between husband and wife. I teach them that it is the best earthly feeling in the world to make love to your spouse. It is that special and it is not something to be ashamed of. A wonderful marriage and a wonderful sex life and good healthy kids and a love of God...My life is pretty full right now. I can't wait until my husband comes home!!!

 
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Wendy, the Bible isn't speaking just to you as things stand with you right now. It speaks to those who have dealt with, are dealing with and will be dealing with adultry. No matter what the sin or original mindset we are all called to forgive, as He has first forgiven us.

 
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Not to be rude, but you seem really clueless as to the issue. Yes, the Bible does speak to me. I am sorry - it sounds like you are dealing with this right now - as the one who cheated. Yikes, I am so sorry if that is the case. Though I do not know you, I pray that you may find comfort and peace through Jesus. As for others who have dealt with it - they had to make a choice and live based on their beliefs and their own marriage. I believe that every married person should discuss the reality of it. My husband and I agreed that if either of us were slightly tempted, we would discuss it and pray about it. When it isn't a secret, you can deal with it. You seem like you may have come from a very repressed home - I am sorry if that is the case. I beleive more churches need to teach us as married people how we can grow together and with Christ. I can only speak for myself on this issue....those who have dealt with it or are coping with it, I am sorry. And Melanie, I will pray for you as well...I am so sorry for whatever it is that you are dealing with right now.

 
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Thanks for your prayers, Wendy. I am not dealing with adultry in my marriage but I understand that if that were to become an issue I would be called to forgive and try to reconcile because of my vows and what I am taught. Have a great day!

 
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Oops!!...that's adultery...not adultry....lol
Have a wonderful Labor Day weekend everyone!!

 
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Can someone help me understand what Wendy is saying? So her husband DIDN'T cheat on her? I am not following. Wendy, no offense but you seem extremely confused or just want some attention. And please, stop using profanity on a site like this. Thanks

 
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Matthew, It is my understanding after reading the comments that Wendy is making the point that her choice (should such a situation ever occur) would be to forgive but to still divorce and that she would still be within the bounds of God's guidance in the Bible. The divorce would be the consequence of the sin of adultery. I think each situation has its own particulars and the individuals involved have to make their best evaluation and consider what would be most pleasing to God. Hopefully these situations will become fewer and fewer as the churches and communities reach out to married couples to give them support and resources to make for stronger marriages.

 
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I agree with Janice with what Wendy is trying to convey. Please understand tho that we are all speaking from a hypothetical situation. I wonder what we would really do if it ever happened to us. I am of the opinion that we won't know until we walk in those shoes, and God deals with us about the situation.

 
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I am even more confused now. Why put so much energy and thought into a hypothetical situation? Obviously, being prepared for any situation is good but this is more than some preperation for something that hasn't even occured. Especially in Wendy's case where she says "she could never see it happening with her spouse". Well if you can't ever see it happening, why are you so well read on the topic and have such an opinion on it? Just curious.

 
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Matthew - I think Wendy is just stating her opinion about what would happen if her husband cheated on her. She also feels that someone married to a Christian could feel they could get away with it knowing that they would be forgiven and get on with life. I just hate to see on a Christian website someone stating this without a challenge. God asks us not to say, "no way" but to think that with His help and guidance that there is always a way. I am thankful that neither Wendy or I have cheated or are dealing with cheating, at this time. I can't begin to imagine the pain that infidelity causes. I do know however what God asks us to do, with His help, in that situation.

 
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I have dealt with people that this has happened to and they are devastated beyond my imigination. One thing we have not mentioned yet is that when Christ said Moses gave the bill of divorcement for fornication, he also said that from the beginning it was not so. Lets hear the whole matter, it would be hard but I feel that an effort should be made to reconcile. God forgives us when we commit spiritual adultry but then he does't divorce us. You say that is different, is it? We have all gone a whoring after other relationships and then we come back and confess them to him. He still keeps us.

 
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My husband and I went to see a screening of the movie, "Fireproof", which comes out to the theaters on Sept. 26. It is a great movie and should be helpful to all the married folks. Please make every effort to see it so your marriage can benefit. Singles would do well to see it, too, so they will have a clue when it comes to being married. It comes from the same group who put out "Facing the Giants".

 
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Wendy dear, while I respect what you are saying now,it is a whole different ballgame when adultery becomes a reality. I am speaking from experience. All that one thinks they would do in this case, becomes something altogether different when it actually happens. I truly pray that you never have to experience this kind of betrayal first hand.

 
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Thank you Janice and FCE - you understand what I mean!! (Looking forward to the movie - LOVED Facing the Giants!! And Carla, Yes I did encounter adultery. I was married before. I was almost 9 months pregnant when I walked in on my ex husband in a hotel room with another woman. Obviously, I do understand. That is why I did heed the advisement of the Bible for matters of divorce concerning adultery. I am glad it happened - I was then made available to meet and eventually marry my now husband who loves the Lord like I do. I took the advice of the Bible and married a man that I was 'equally yoked.' I stayed with my exhusband for 10 years dealing with abuse. I dealt with it because the Bible says nothing about divorce in the case of abuse; however, it is very clear about adultery. So, I do have a clue - first hand.

 
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Hi Matthew. The reason why I was reading this in the first place was because reading this Daily Devotion page is a part of my daily activities to keep my mind on Christ. I responded to this devotion in particular because I do know first hand. There are so many Christians that do not understand that you do not have to stay with your husband after he has sex with another person outside of your marriage. (I use husband, but it could be a wife, too, though women tend to be far more forgiving.) Adultery is the only reason stated in the Bible that you can divorce your spouse. I believe the reason is because it is so vile, ignorant, and disgusting that we are allowed to divorce for that reason. I forgave my ex husband and I divorced him. We have 3 kids together. He has since remarried, as well. So, Matthew, really look into your Bible about adultery - there is more to it than you think. You may be surprised to find out info you didn't know before. I like searching the Word - because the Lord always has more info for me than what I am seeking in the first place. Matthew, I just wanted to make sure that I responded to your comments to perhaps give you a better insight. You assumed that this has never happened to me. The Bible does say to 'judge not.' Also, you referred to that comment that I made about my current husband...I do not think that adultery will be an issue because we are equally yoked. Adultery is an issue in many marriages - that is why he and I discussed the issue thouroughly prior to marriage because that is a deal breaker for me, and for us. I hope you have a better understanding about what I was trying to say.

 
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No where in God word does it say that a gentle can divorce there spouse. In Matthew the word was spoken to the Jewish customs not gentle. You have to understand the customs back then where for the Jewish people. In the new testament it says: paraphrasing, except it be fornification or adultery then you are allowed to divorce. What part of No do we not understand, when God says he hates divorce and Jesus said for it was not so in the beginning and said Moses allowed divorce because of the hardness of your hearts. When you have a hard heart you are not in the will of God but proud and stubborn and you will do it your own way or else. You remember the song by Frank Sinatra "I will do it my way' I heard a saying on the radio the other day: "You keep marching towards hell and one day you will walk in".

You remember your wedding vows. "I ____________, take thee, ______________, to be my lawfully wedded wife... to have and to hold from this day forth... to love, honor, protect, and keep you, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health; and to cleave to you, and you only 'Till Death Do Us Part' or for as long as we both shall live." You see clearly this is a vow not only to the people around you and your wife or husband but to God. God heard every word that proceeded out of your mouth, you vowed, it is sealed till death do you part. When you get to the judgment seat of Christ he will ask you this question "where is your husband or where is your wife?
Remember, Jesus is the bridegroom and we are his bride, he is coming back for a church (yourself) without spot or wrinkle. Jesus could have divorced us at Calvary and called his angles from heaven to destroy mankind for there wickedness but instead, what did he say? Forgive them Father for the know not what they do.
My wife divorced me about two years ago but guess what I have not remarried because if I do I put my self in the sin of adultery and possibly putting an innocent party on the same boat. Jesus is not messing around with the word of God. It is clear and not twisted to what our itching ears want to hear. I Cor. 6:9-10 says: "Or do you not know that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, shall inherit the kingdom of God." Is it starting to become clear to us, can excuses change the truth or will the word of God judge our sins by our own foolishness. Love your brothers as your selves and pray for your enemies or you will not inherit the blessing that was given to you free through Jesus Christ our Messiah. Love, Love, Love and pray for your enemies. It's all about Loveing one another. If your husband commits adultery, pray for him,Love him, forgive him and be a minority example to your family and the world that Christ lives in you and you can forgive and restore anything that comes your way through Christ Jesus our Lord. "He is our example". After all Christ is always praying for us, he is our mediator, advocate, interseser, and High Priest before the Father in Heaven. My wife is a proticle wife and I am waiting some day that she will walk through that door with a broken and contrite heart and that we can rejoice in the Lord and give thanks to him because he is faithful and full of LOVE.
One last comment, my wife after she left me found another man on the internet and went down with him to Texas and Mexico. I met her up at the airport when she returned to talk to her about what she was doing. I really did not know what to say to her and the only thing that I could say was I Love you, I Love you, and finally, I Love you. She said " I Know". Jesus said to Peter do you love me, three times, I felt after words when I had said this to her that it came from God and I was expressing to my wife even knowing that she had been sleeping with this man that I had Christ in me and I said to her I Love you. I call her even today my wife and I wear my wedding band till death do us Part. God will not be mocked, he is faithful and I put all my trust in him and him only. God Bless, all, Michael.

 
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Michael,I'm in the same situation and I hold true to the scripture. My husband left two months ago for, I think, someone he met on the internet. The only problem is he's all the way across the country so there's very little communication. I hold true to the scriptures also. I'm very confused, but I know the Lord will see me through. He has only been gone two months so I still dealing with the loneliness, etc that goes along with separation. Our 24th anniversary is coming up so it's difficult. I'm debating whether to send a card because we are still married and always will be in the eyes of God. I need lots of prayer to get through this. Thanks for your encouraging comment.

 
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I never thought I would be here reading about this subject, but on Aug. 17, 2008, it was revealed to me (after knowing in my heart) that my wife did have an affair with one man, several times, in the summer of 03. We both entered marriage pure, born and raised in Southern Baptist, and Assembly of God. I tried to the best of my ability to start this marriage from Bible-based teachings, but it still failed. We have 2 wonderful children (9 and 11) and I still desire to raise them in a Christian home. My wife did not have to go to work, and I still blame myself for leading her to this sales job earning excellent pay. No job is worth what we are going through right now, I'd rather live in a tent, and I would give everything we have got to go back to the purity we once had in our marriage and our family. Other than loosing one of my children, death would be easier to deal with. We have always been a saved, hard working (farm), church going, prominent family, and I can't believe satan entered into our pure setting, but he did. Yes, I did, and still do want to run, and if it wasn't for my children I probably would have ended the union, but I am trying to allow reconciliation to take place, and only God can do it. I have a whole in my heart like none before. It is big, scabbed over, and the scab is still bleeding often, but we are still trying. The hardest part now for me is to fall back in love with the woman I once trusted with ever fiber in my body, and it is even more troublesome to now know why I have the outbreaks (std). I was told for 5 years its just a rash, and it did go away because the symptoms are much less in men than with women, but since I found out from a very repentive wife, stress brings on the outbreaks more often. PLEASE PRAY FOR US. NO ONE'S MARRIAGE IS FIREPROOF! But God can restore it and I'm allowing (now) Him to work. Satan is still like a roaming lion, seeking whom he can destroy, and the more your working for His kingdom, the more likely your going to be attacked. Yes, I know I have the right to leave, and I still may but, I'm going to give God time first, since I always have before.

 
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First I would like to say, I thank God for this website. And I thank all the people for their comments. I am a victim of adultery. My husband and I been in the church ever since we was young. We got married in the church. I thought this could never happen to us. I tried to live by everything I understood from the bible and than some. I asked myself how could this happen to me. We been married for thirty-five years now. My husband told me of his affair two years ago. I'm still recovering from it with the Lords help. He told me the affair happen about twenty-five years ago but, he wanted to tell me but, he didn't know how. I had thought back than he was having affair and did confront him about it. At that time I must have caught him off guard and he said, no. I didn't have any evidence but I knew. I couldn't prove it. So life continued on. I believed Gods word that said, be sure your sins will find you out. I said all this to say there is forgiveness if we want to forgive. God is still helping me everyday to forgive. Sometimes feelings, movies and other things trigger those hurt feelings and I have to remind myself I have forgiven that. God has and is forgiven me everyday of things and thoughts in my body and I'm trying to do the same for my husband.

 
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My husband of 29 years had an ongoing affair with his best friend's wife. I knew about it and he flaunted it in my face telling me he didn't love me and that people change.

He told me last year in May that he wanted me out of his life. The devastation of the affair, the feelings of inadequacy, the shame, the humiliation, it is like nothing I have ever experienced. If it were a one-night stand on some drunken binge I could over look it but I could not overlook this. I could forgive him but I could never forget what he did. Nor would I ever trust him again. He lied to me repeatedly about where he was and what he was doing. If we got back together I would become his warden and it would be like he is in jail because I would question absolutely everything he did. If he were 5 minutes late I would be suspicious. I am not interested in living my life being a warden to someone. We split and I am the happiest I have been in over 2 decades. I am free from a man who broke my heart and who continues on with his affair. I am still struggling with what is wrong with me that my own husband didn't even want me but I hope some day I will believe that the affair was about him not me and I can finally be free from the pain, betrayal and humiliation.

 
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Hello. I want to say thank you to everyone who has posted their thoughts on adultery in a marriage. I have a fear to write my thoughts because I am an adulterer. My husband and I have been married for more than a decade and we have children. We were married very young and started off on a rocky start. I love my husband with all my heart. He has been a great provider and he is quick to say he is sorry on many occassions. He is also a wonderful father. See, I have always taken responsibility as a Christian to bring my family to church and raise our children with devotions and teach them how to love the Lord. There were things my husband did to me. He privatly beat me, called me horrible names if I accidently broke something in the house or spent too much money. He raped me. He verbally abused me, especially when I would talk about my love for Christ. He told me many times that his friends hated me. I forgave him over and over again. Then one day, I fell short, I snapped! There was a man who paid intimate attention to me and said I was an amazing woman. I fell into this trap so easily. I slept with this man. I quickly realized what I did. I was trying to ask God for forgiveness and I thought I wanted to take it to my grave because I knew what may lay ahead for me once I told my husband. Finally, I felt this overwhelming conviction and I told him. I told him I wanted and needed forgiveness. He said many many terrible and hurtful things. He told everyone at his workplace and he told every member of his family. We really struggled for awhile and I never thought we would last. I felt humiliation and he felt betrayed. I thought I was better than that. After all the hurt he put me through; I reached lower.
Long story short;It has been 3 years since it has happened and 2 years since I have told him. I have struggled through so many devestating things in this marriage. My husband has struggled through this devastating thing. Since then, my husband has cried out to me to forgive him for everything he has put me through. He has become a born again Christian and he has just recently felt a calling from the Lord to become a Pastor! Yes, there are still trying times with us but after everything we have put each other through; I have a marriage that I would never want to give up. I love my husband so dearly. We have come to love and respect each other. Still, working on trust and resentment issues but this is my story. I love Jesus Christ for everything He gives me. My husband especially.

 
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Hi everyone it was insightful, even inspiring reading about what everyone has to say about adultery. Though i have not experienced an adulterous spouse, I have knowledge of my husband expressing words towards sexual intimacy to my youngest sister (18 yrs). He has admitted having said those words,but denies outright the act of adultery. He was never going to tell me about it until GOD somehow brought it to light. As a christian it is painful to me because i know he has committed adultery in his heart, in other words he has been entertaining those thoughts for a quite a while. I am right now struggling with that knowledge and can't help thinking, there is maybe more he is not wanting to tell me. Now that he has admitted and has apologized, I have forgiven him but I still am struggling to eraze the knowledge from my thoughts

 
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Hi everyone,
I cannot express how much I enjoyed everyone's comments! The beautiful thing is all of the points of view help us to see God more. I was married for 28 years and pastored a church for 13 years when I discovered my husbands affair. To say the least, I experienced 3 deaths. My marriage, my family, and my church. Yet you can find God's grace. What is my responsibility? I will not take on his sins or allow it to make me feel less than who God made me. He was the lead and should have fought every demon to save what God started. But, I forgive him and his mistress. Forgiveness should be immediate, forgiveness brings reconciliation, forgiveness brings healing, and my best days are ahead of me. No, this was not the plan of God, but God still has a plan for my life. If it includes my husband, God will restore it. If not I forgive because over time the pain will lessen and If I forgive..... God will grant me grace. God bless all of you and I am in prayer for all of you.

 
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A few months ago I learned that my husband cheated for the 3rd time. I have spent years trying to forgive, seek help and repair our marriage. As a christian woman I have fought so hard to be faithful and believe that God will honor that. Now I am faced with the reality that my faithfulness and desire for reconciliation cannot control annother persons choices. Yes at first it may be possible to repair, but what happens if it does not work and you are crushed, abused and beat up emotionally? How now can I forgive and now is there any option other than divorce?

 
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I have been married to my husband for almost 26 years. This is my second marriage. My first marriage ended because of my first husbands drug and alcohol abuse which in turn made our marraige abusive in every way. God sent me a wonderful man 26 years ago that taught me how to trust again. After 19 years into this marriage we became caregivers to my parentsand i began the menopausal frame of mind at the same time. Everything started going south. My husband was working hard to keep a roof over our heads and I was overwhelmed with doing what needed to be done to keep my parents alive. In July of 2011 my husband reconnected with an old girlfriend he hadnt seen in 36 years on facebook. Because I trusted him i was blind to what was happening. They began an affair in August 2011. I was not aware of it then, but began to feel he was distancing himself from me. He would not go to bed when i did. He would stay up very late at night. I began to get suspicious of something and found some evidence that something was going on with someone else in December 2011. I confronted him several times and he would deny anything. I began to look for concrete evidence that something was going on. It took until March of 2012 for me to find that evidence. Our love making was almost nonexistant.Finding phone records and male enhancement products was my evidence. I showed him the evidence and he admitted to it. He told me who and how and that he loved her and wanted to be with her. I told him to leave out of anger. He said that he thought we had fallen out of love with one another. I had certainly NOT fallen out of love with him. During the night that i told him to leave I pacedd the floor screaming as if I were dying, crying out to God for what i should do. After 5 hours or so I heard God speak to my heart. " Forgive him, tomorrow will be a new day" Of course I had to get Him to repeat that. How dare he make me forgive him. To me that was unpardonable. I called my husband at 5 in the morning to come talk to me. He did. I told him what had happened. My husband had always had alot more faith in God getting us through things than I did and was (on the outside) a great example of a christian man so he knew when i told him what God had told me that he had been wrong and that he never really wanted to be with her. He just thought that with all the things I had been NOT doing with him meant that I didnt love him anymore and he was making his plans to move on. I resented that he never told me how he was feeling, but i understood in some way. He called her with me in the room listening and told her that we were going to stay together and he would never be seeing her again and that he loved me with all of his heart. She in turn sought revenge and sent me emails between the 2 of them and text messages they had sent to one another and every single intimate love making detail of their time together. I knew the details were truth because of how intimate we had been before all the kaos but he never denied any of it. He was openly honest with me and my Psychologist daughter and we have started our relationship over. Things are completely different in our marriage now from his perspective. It has become very obvious that he loves me unconditionally and makes sure that i know exactly where he is at all times. That is his choice. It is all very hard for me, because of the images left in my mind from her correspondence with me. That never seems to go away.I pray every day for the images to go away. I rebuke the enemy only to wake up the next morning with the same thing. I know that God put us together and I know that he loves me but i still have so much trouble with trust again. I pray every day that God will take the "WHAT IF" away. MY husband has begun sharing his thoughts with me and we confront each other about things now instead of tiptoeing to keep from hurting one anothers feelings. God is healing our marriage. I just want all the thought patterns to go away. They say that takes a while. I don't like it at all. I want to heal faster.

 
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I logged on trying to find answers to whether I should leave or stay. I have been married to my husband since we were 19 years old. He showed me love like never before. My friends were so jealous of how he was so smitten over me. Even our families noticed the love we had for one another. We had 3 kids each within 11 and 18 months apart. We have everyone hope for finding real love. About 7 years ago he started working in the oil field and at first he noticed the guys doing things we practice. Like drinking all the time, cussing excessively, referring to sex all the time, married men cheating and not putting their wives first. Over a period of time I watched him slowly drift that way . He started lying about looking at porn. So I became somewhat of a drill sergeant . After so long of him not changing his behavior one if his co workers/buddies started giving me attention. It was wrong but it felt good. We talked a lot , met in a park to , got caught by his wife, I confessed to my husband . My husband stop trusting me. He started talking to an ex. I found out , he lied. I stormed out got a room called this guy and we fondled . But no sex of any kind took place. God warned me that if I did I would be tainted and my husband would never touch me again. I asked the guy to leave and my husband came to get me we worked through it.....so I thought. I understand that hurt him and was embarrassing on the job because the guy told everyone we slept together. Every since my husband had been getting meaner and meaner. I forgave him for lying and talking to the first 3 women . Then 2 years ago he confessed to sleeping with a 21 year old who worked at a hotel they were staying at. Only after telling me he had chlymadia and God may have given it to him. Then he said I may have given it to him. Then he finally confessed. I struggled with forgiving him and he grew inpatient. After a year today while I'm still trying to heal I find out he is cheating again this time I he approached the girl ( in December 2012) I brought up the first sexual encounter and he leaves our home for about 14 days . While he's not at our home he was calling her , working out ., even let him meet his cousin. So just on Valentines day he told me he was in San Antonio and he was really literally 40 minutes away from home in a hotel room with her. When I found out I drove to the town and found him in a restaurant eating. When I asked him what was going on he did say he was having an affair. But lied about being there the night before ( which was valentines ) he told me he didn't want a divorce but he wasn't ready to stop talking to her. I had to call her to tell her he was married. I feel like I have forced the situation to stop , not him who stopped it. I'm afraid I may have another disease. I know it sounds simple ..... To leave. But if he was once a good guy grew up in church , if I believe and help him believe , can't he become a believer once again . I feel stupid . And that is soo out if character for me....... My kids have watched me cry all weekend long . and they say "when daddy comes home everything will be all better" (sobbing) saying GOD HELP!!!
Called her in Jan 2013.

 
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Correcting my errors ..... We did not practice the drinking etc. excessively . And just FYI we are now 33. This year makes 14 years if we make it to September.

 
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wow, this is quite an old thread. I read the whole thing from 2008... as I am considering divorce right now. I can't give advice to anyone here, I am probably not qualified so I hope you do not think me rude for posting my message without answering. Especially CLL, and many others.

Basically, my wife cheated on me when we were just dating. I forgave her because I truly loved her (and also to imitate Christ). I got criticized a lot even by Christians, but she promised me never to do it again.I did forgive, but the damage from the incident never fully healed. Five years later we got married officially. Shortly after getting married, she cheated on me. This time it was planned and premeditated. The guy she cheated on me with was someone I considered a brother (he was her sister-in-law's cousin). This broke me so badly, but I still forgave both involved. Again, trying to do the right thing. I honestly did forgive, but as before the damage was severe. She was soon pregnant (I don't know if it was me or the other guy). It's been 3.5 years since then and I am certain he is my son. However, the damage is still pretty bad.

During this time, I have degraded as a person. I am anti-social, socially awkward, and much more... I used to love roller coasters, and now I am afraid of them... etc.. I am just super damaged. The problem is that my wife was sorry about it for a while and she did try to make things better on and off.. but she had a problem changing as a person. She was always too complaning about what I do not do for her, generally rude and disrespectful to me, etc... on top of that she had been asking me for a separation. She even insisted that I sleep with other women, and we could have an open relationship. Honestly, as a guy the idea of this was tempting but I could never get myself to proceed ... even when I had a chance. There were girls who literally told me they wanted sex, and I always sabotaged myself intentionally just before anything could happen.

Anyway, I had always been resisting the request for a separation... but recently, I just could not handle it anymore. The marriage was getting worse because she had a lot of complaints about me. In my defense, I would say that I am like that as a consequence of her cheating. For example, I did not like it when she sings because it reminds me of a memory... I could not compliment her because I felt guilty... I had a hard time getting myself to do nice things for her and I had an even harder time doing anything for our anniversaries, her birthday, etc... I am sure it was not hate... I know I loved her, I felt it... but I just could not do things for her. Her family blamed me mostly and put all the burden on me to change... saying that she is the true victim.

This is the sort version of the story.... anyway, I am contemplating divorce because I don't want my child to suffer seeing us this way... its not a real marriage. I finally said that I want the divorce... and she was shocked that I said this. Then she changed her mind, but it was too late for me...

I have still not made it official.. there is just something still tugging at my heart ... I have forgiven and I know I have a right to divorce her... and I was so sure of it, but I am also conflicted at the same time... I want her to change, and she says she wants me to change too...

The bottom line is that, I can't even attempt any changes within myself until she changes first... because I am simply broken and her behavior reminds me of what she has done...

Trying to keep this sort so I will not go on about this...

Right now, I am almost divorced... I just haven't given my final word yet! I dont know if I can live like a prisoner an in pain anymore... I wonder if this is the right decision... it felt like it at first, but now that I am at the final moment.. I am hesitating!...

 
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Tony...I never Cheated on either of my Wives. Wanted the Marriage to Work. I don't know if Either cheated on me and never want to know. Even though the First ended in 97 after her Filing Three Times and the Second Ended in 95 after she filed Once.

What I can tell you is this...Keep your self out of any Situation where you will feel Guilty over the Divorce.

First Wife Filed for Tons of Money--Second for Freedom. I have never lost a Moments Sleep over being Unfaithful to either.

Don't know what they were doing when they were Both out Flying Two or Three Nights a Week--Don't want to know--That is too much Information for me.

I do know I Bottle-Broke my Daughter and I do know I kept my Son for four years after the Second Ex decided to File.

I know I kept my Daughter for Three years while her mom was out on the Road. I do know she started Chasing Every Pilot on the Street at DAL once she Divorced me with the House and 2K/Month in Support.

Guess What? She had him sleeping in My House before he was Divorced!!!

Second Ex? Can't talk about it. Don't care when and if she sleeps with any Guy...If she gets Married tomorrow? Then that is The Deal.

But the Thing is this: It is like Donald Trump told Tiger: "May as well Divorce her--She will never Forgive you..."

Well, Look at Dr. Stanley and what he went through...He did Everything he could...Everything and even Andy took his Mom's Side for a While(While his Dad did everything he could to keep his Ministry Together.)

I know these are Long Posts so I will Go Long like Jerry Rice...But you know What?

I don't know how that can be Received. With the First Ex? Once I found Out with the Kids having to live in that Environment? They Hate them both. They don't Hate me.

With the Second Ex I knew she really Loved the guy in Miami--But she asked me and really loved the Kids. So you Never Know...We made it Five Years the Stats were on Our Side and then they Started sending Nuclear Emails across the Websites and I was getting it from All Angles.

I will never forget she said: " I could have Married Joe...I said how could you have done that? He was still married to his Wife!!!"

Lets just Go There for a Moment--Now Hold On and lets just Go There.

Are you willing to keep your Vows? Do you know those Vows are Really Real?

So...Here I am back in 2008 in a Room with a Bunch of Gals working as a Table Leader in Fresh Start.

One Gal had Cheated and he had Counter-Cheated. Another Gal had left Him Home Alone while she took care of her Mom--He got Lonely and Slept with her Best Friend.

And the Other Gal who had been Married forever...Her Hub taught in the Church and just walked away for a Fresher Skirt...

If I had been the Session I would have Tossed his Butt out into the Middle of JF Road? He probably would have been Run Over by a Benz. But they Tried. They Tried to help them make it Work. But he just wanted that Younger Gal.

I will never forget that Pain in those Four Gals...I felt like someone was making carry a Half Ton Weight.

Then there was the Gal in Open Conference who was Bragging about "Catching Him in the Act."

Disgusting...So there are Many Different Reasons but here is the Real Deal. All they have to do is File and those Cards are Dealt.

Don't Beat yourself up--Those are Rights Granted under the Constitution and the Laws of the State of Georgia.

Let them Stand Trial before the Lord--If you have Been and Good Guy or Gal? Stay that Way. Your Brothers or Sisters in the Lord will really Appreciate that kind of Response.

If you can Save It? Save it. If not? Walk away and Cause no Stink.

 
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divore is hardness of heart, what the prophet Hosea, he had every right to divorce his loose wife, and if God is the same yesterday, today and forever, then Hosea is still our example for adulterous wives, women are quick to judge and dovorce men, but men and women need to takes Hosea's example, if you divorce, you have a hard heart, you can committ adultery just lusting in your heart, so people should be allowed to divorce just for lusting, because it's the same to God, sin is sin, so stop being pharisee's and sadducce's, love and forgiveness is the answer, if you partner has committed adultery and has repented and wanst to work on the marriage well then by God's law we have to forgive and 70 x 7, no excuse, only love will save us, and divore is hatred and violence, with no real love, you can try and justify all yuor divorce with " i deserve better" we all deserve hell" he done me wrong, " we all do wrong, for aLL HAVE SINNED" HE SIN IS WORSE THEN MINE, " aLL SIN IS EQUAL TO GOD" God hates dovorce, but if you do get divorced, you are commanded to stay single, but no most false christians want a remarriage with a new partner, while their old spouse is still alive, "Bound for life until death"

 
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Yeah First Corinthians 7:27...You talk about a Tough one--that is a Tough One.

I am glad I don't know if it ever happened. I have had several people in the Ministry I worked with(support) who lost everything when their Spouses decided to Split the Sheets.

Spoke with a guy just this week who is just Ripped Apart--He did it. He Devastated Himself. So I prayed with him right there in the Yard but had to tell him it would take more time. It just isn't worth it.

First Corinthians Seven is an outstanding Guideline for Guys in Divorce--It really is. The Forgiveness Factor is a True Gift from the Lord but it Takes Time.

 
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@ Darran , good post and vital info . Forgiving and not letting it hurt anymore is very hard to do (with self effort). I thank God everytime I think about how forgiving he is when we sin. And how he loves us even when we dont deserve it. He is a mighty God. without a shadow of a doubt mightier than I. The bible said Hosea lost sleep and was very sorrowful and heart broken . It's scary to live like that.

 
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I am currently a victim.....my husband left me and a month later moved in with another woman and is still there.....I want to reconcile but it would take a miracle from God......my church which I have since left did not support me in ant way.....my husband us now returning to that church without a mention if our situation.....I am wondering what the church will say when he brings his mistress......I say I have forgiven him but it is obvious I haven't.......is there a way to save our marriage and it be righteous for everyone involved? I don't know. I immediately returned to my church I attended before our marriage......with Gods guidance and my church family I will be better than ever.....I am waiting on God to tell me about divorce.....I do not choose to be alone.......7 months and counting

 
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How about Eight Years and Counting?

Here is The Deal and this is Extraordinarily Rough:

"I say to you that Everyone who Divorces his Wife(which I never did)...makes Her Commit Adultery...and Whoever Marries a Divorced Woman Commits Adultery...

YOU SHALL NOT MAKE FALSE VOWS--BUT SHALL FULFILL YOUR VOWS TO THE LORD..."

Not screaming that is the way it works out in Matthew Five...
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Sandra what you have on your Hands in Here is a Covenant Breaker. Personally? Well I won't say.

My First Wife Filed Three times in order to Capture Money. My Second Wife Filed because I willfully Disobeyed the Lord by Marrying her in the First Place.
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But you know what? I still Love Her until I find she has been with Another Man. You know why?

Because I think she really did try to Love Me and I am not the Easiest Guy on the Planet!
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But for you Younger Ones? Don't you Dare Do That. It causes Harm to the Max and you will not ever be able to get over the Distrust.

Reconcile your Marriage while you are Married People...Otherwise there might be a Husband or Wife out there who really want to be with you?

But there are so Many Lies they have told? You won't be able to Outlie them again.
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(Now I want to make this Absolutely Clear right now...My Former Wife is one of my Favorite People. I am Broke so she cannot get any Money and we are not Married so there will be none of That.)

However, she knows anything Else? I am there for her. Have been there for her and her Parents. Until she has another Man in her Life.

Then? I am Gone.

 
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Sandra, there is a great book by Linda Dillow, What's It Like To Be Married To Me. I highly recommend it, and maybe it will speak to you and help you. I pray it does!

 
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Adultry is a crime against god himself, and it is also a crime against us as beings. But, there is always one thing all must understand, and even in words of the bible it has been found to be true.

In life, there is things we cannot control, even our spouse. There are many things this life is unable to change, but, in this, there many things we can do.

Love and pain hold hand in hand. And in when love comes to to spar with hate, mistrust, deceit, adultery...it is tested...always...

All things, ALL things, are worth fighting for, even if it is so deep in the dark, and I am not saying that such things that have come to past will always be saved...but it is worth the time and fight for not only your life...but the lives whom you have either gave birth too, or witnessed it.

It is hard....it is very hard...but in life an love....what is not...we are tested every day, and yet...so many of us prevail to see the next...

 
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I never thought that it would happen to me. I was always seen as the "bad boy" and the one in the relationship more likely to commit the act, not become the victim. It especially hurt because I had always held up my end of the deal and trusted her blindly

I cannot express the pain I felt when she confessed to me many, many, many years after she ended her affair. We had two more kids since it had ended. I don't know if I would have chosen to grow our family had I known about it, but I cannot imagine a world without my family. I would not have ever known if she hadn't told me about it. Looking back, I can see how her guilt had become a barrier to our happiness. I'm glad she confessed everything to me. It was hard, but I feel that she is now free of her sin and we could really be a family now. It is very hard for me to accept--all the lies, mental images and betrayal. I pray that the power of God can mend my broken heart and put things right.

 
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In adultery what happens if the act of sin was done over a 3month period and one went to church and the other wanted no part in it. One always tried to make the marriage work by going to Christian counseling a only one trying. Now the adultery not only cheats but cheats with a cousin of the partner and infects her with STD is this act that can be consider divorce??

 
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Six months ago, I came home from work one evening and my husband told me that he was seeing another woman. I was devastated (still am). I would have liked to work things out forgive him, but he decided that leave me and our daughter for the other woman. My heart is broken. Sometimes, it's just not meant to work out. I believe that my marriage was outside of God's will, so he ended it.

 
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I am a victim of adultery. The first time I caught my husband it had already happened with 2 or 3 diff women. I love my husband and know ive been a tough wife to deal with and I forgave and I never left or even separated from him. Months down the line we were expecting a child and I caught him again. I have forgiven him in my heart, but I don't know if i can stay. He sends me scriptures and wants to reconcile but it's hard for me to trust him

 
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OK...I am, Once again, Overusing my Webspace in here. Let me Just Say This About That.

I was speaking with my Daughter the other day and we were talking about Female/Male Relationships:

She says: "Dad? I don't think I could ever Trust him."

I said: "Honey? If his Dad cheated on his Mom? He is going to cheat on you..."

"I married two girls just like your Grandmother....Me Me Me Me Me. And they have treated all the Guys they have run through there Lives with the same Disrespect."

Of course we can Forgive...That is Easy. The Difficult Portion of that is?

The Forgetting. See that is an Issue of Trust and Confidence...Those are two Extraordinary Issues of Example.

You can be Kind and Compassionate? You can Forgive?

But are you going to become a Dynamic Doormat once again and allow them to Act Out any way they would like?

The Desire of the Lord is for Marriages to be Reconciled?

When you have Kids I think the Answer is Yes. The Kids want their Parents to be together. But I am telling you this: They will never Forget your Transgressions against their Mom or Dad.

Oh Yeah...They will try to Smooth it Over? But Guys? When you are Married and Sleep with another Person while Married?

You should be Taken to the Shed and Horse-Whipped.

 
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After 15 years of Christian marriage I discovered my husband had been having an affair with my best friend for 9 months. My pain was unbearable, I went through a range of emotions to where finally my constant state of emotion was anger. I stopped praying, I questioned God for the first time in my Christian walk (18 years). I always thought that if my husband had an affair I would divorce him. Once he was caught & the tie with this women had been severed, he cried out to God in repentance, spent the day praying on his knee's, confessing everything to Him & then to me. He felt The Lord had forgiven & cleansed him. He cried & begged for my forgiveness daily (he had never apologised or cried to me before) he would not leave my side & took everything I dished out to him. In the pit of my despair & overwhelming anger, I was refusing to pray, hammering my husband and plotting revenge on the other

women. I was seeing the change in my husband but not recognising it was from God, even though my husband realized & repeatedly admitted he had not been a Godly man for many years. My hatred consumed me, I was hardening my heart to him & to God even though I loved them with all of my heart. After a week of this, in the early hours one morning (I had got my husband up out of bed at 2:30am as I couldn't sleep & I didn't think he should be either) and while filled with anger, I was telling my husband that I was making my plans to leave as I could not live with the betrayal & how dispicable he was etc, etc, he was balling & I took pleasure in that. Suddenly a peace came over me
and part of the verse "all things happen for good, for the glory of God" came to me, over & over I heard, "all things happen for good" The peace I felt was overwhelming, God told me to forgive him & assured me that his repentence was real. In my anger & hatred, letting the dark forces take over, The Lord fought for me, he didn't leave me, even with my rejection of the truth. In that moment I changes, I got up, I went to my husband, hugged him & told him I forgave him & the other women. We hugged for so long, crying in each other's arms. You see, in my humaness I thought adultry was something I could not live with & if it happened to me, I would take my bible & run. Now it has happened in my life I can honestly say that it has been only through the Grace, mercy & forgiveness God has given me that I was able to commit to working at my marriage. I know now with true repentance from the adulterer, true forgiveness from the spouse that all things are possible through Him who gives us strength. The Lord has given us that strength & I believe all things do happen for good, to Glorify God. We are a testament to that. We pray together, read the bible together & our marriage is stronger than ever. It has been hard, there is no denying that, there are up & down days. Forgiveness is a daily thing. I lean on The Lord often but He wouldn't have it any other way & neither would I.

 
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Hi everyone,thank you for your comments and thoughts.
I am a victim of Adultery, I have been married for 3 yrs and found that my Husband was involved in an inappropriate relationship with his step daughter. I was devastated and heart broken. I believed that this man was Godly and loved him for it.... However that changed and now I'm going through a divorce but feel its wrong. I love my husband and have forgiven as Christ as forgiven me. I have a compassion for him and my daughter. I love them both. Grace is a wonderful thing and I want to do what's right by God.
I am in prayer and believe that God wants us to reconcile and my husband wants nothing more....
I want to be in Gods will however I know this is not the most easy of roads but with His love and grace all things as possible with God.
As for my daughter from a previous marriage which ended in divorce because of adultery ..... I forgive her as Christ as forgiven me.
God is good I pray and wait for his leading.
Bless you all

 
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CMR...I left a Message out here concerning your Situation. and they took it Down.

You might want to ask them to forward it to you as I think you might want to Step Back and Take a Moment of Pause

 
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My Gunk thank you for that I will look into it. Bless you CMR

 
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Please can you forward a message that was left to me on the post about adultery left on 20.3 by GUNK he said you had removed his message ????
I would like it sent to my email .
Regards. CMR

 
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CMR; Please allow me to Post the Basics again...I don't keep my Posts so I will write you a Fresh One.

Adultery is kind of like Spiritual Roundup. It just Kills every thing it Touches.

It Rips apart that Bond of Confidence and Trust which are the Cornerstones of that Relationship which Represents Christ and His Bride. The Church.

Now you don't have to Re-Marry or Reconcile in order to be Forgiving and still love that person.

If I had found out either of my Wives have been unfaithful Sexually? I would not have Divorced them. They Divorced Me.

Neither with Biblical Grounds. Sure, the State Grants you a Divorce simply under Civil Law.

They Filed--I did Not. I am Rambling to the Point.

If some person threatens your life or beats on you or sleeps around in Marriage? What kind of Marriage is that? Dysfunctional.

So that is where we are. In a Dysfunctional State in a Civil State attempting to Apply the Characteristics of that Relationship between Christ and His Bride.

Last time I checked? Jesus did not have any money...Hang with all the Hell-Raisers.

They Crucified Him. Why? Because those who made money in Sin. And those who made money in the Temple?

Felt they were being Robbed of their Legal Rights...(what they really did was use their Legal Rights to Run from their Spiritual Responsibilities.)

Covenant Breakers are Covenant Breakers--Marriage is a Covenant Bond Sworn be Fore the LORD Himself.

So the Problem you and I have? Is we made Covenant with those who simply did not understand the Covenant Bond as Represented between Christ and His Bride. The Church.

If he has seen the Errors of his Ways and wants to save the Marriage for the Sake of a Prior Promise?

Then Stand Down on your Demands.

It is up to you. You will eventually be able to Forgive? But never Forget.

The Scriptures are Repleat with passages which Detail giving Account for those Deeds done in the Body...

The LORD is going to Open those Books. But we have to Remember this:

"It is the Goodness of God which leads us to Repentance..."

I don't know and don't want to know if either of my wives slept around on me...

However? If they Did? I am already Gone. By their Doing. Have forgiven them. Love them.

Have done every thing I can from Half a Million in Support to the First to being as Sweet as I could to the Second. From Golf Tournaments to Flowers when she was sick to taking in her Parent's Mail and suffering those Three years when my Son was with me sitting with my Son in Church having to look at the Back of their Heads.

Most thought I was doing that to try to Re-Rewin her her Affections. I was doing that to give my Son some Exposure to the Gospel.

Please don't make my Mistake...Don't Cast your Pearls before the Swine?

Divorce is your Right. That is Civil Law as Established by Moses and Confirmed by The Lord.

But don't make my Mistake and Sin my Sin...Don't Try to be God in this Situation.

I did every thing I could...And I am still Good-Looking at Fifty Nine and had Plenty of Money on Hand in Both Divorces.

Covenant Breakers are Covenant Breakers?

And Peacemakers? Are Peacemakers...

May God the Holy Spirit be with you during this Horrible Time and Travail of the Soul.

May He Cause His Face to Shine Upon You.

 

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