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Where Have All The Fathers Gone? Jun 19 2010


"Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." - Ephesians 6:4

No statistic is more troubling than this: almost 40% of all births in America are illegitimate. That means that for almost 40% of all children, their lives begin without the presence of a father in the home. But it's even more tragic in the African American community, where two-thirds of all births are illegitimate. And, for those lucky few children who have a dad in residence, often, the light's just not on. Either he is passive in his leadership role with the children, or so involved in his career that he is essentially nonexistent in the home. Certainly, what we are seeing in our contemporary society is the crisis of the absentee dad. It is terrifying to think what this means to our nation's future.

God's Word is clear that the father is to be the spiritual leader with a spirit of love for his wife and his children. This is not a dictatorial or authoritarian leadership, it's Christ-centered servant leadership. It requires understanding of the fragile psyche of a child in the home that needs to be built up and not torn down. It means understanding the importance of discipline in the child's life. And it involves loving instruction, explaining what is right and wrong.

The first step in being a good father - as with every other aspect of success - is simply showing up. Then, when we show up, let's move it up a notch to be the kind of dad God expects us to be.

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Chuck Colson tells a story about his prison ministry. A prison chaplin got American Greetings to donate enough Mother's Day cards for all the inmates and placed them in the chapel. By Mother's Day they were all gone. He decided that they would repeat the gesture for Father's Day. None of the cards were taken. This may not explain why so many men are in prison, but it's hard to ignore the connection.

 
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These children are not "illegitimate". They are gifts of God. These children did nothing to be called such a cold title.

 
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I am actually defending RFTH here.
"Illegitimate" is technically correct- and a lot nicer than what they used to be called.

 
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Who decided God gave us children who were not "legitimate"?
I feel ALL children are gifts from God and I believe anyone that says they are not gifts has a real problem believing God Loves All CHILDREN!!
Since he is our heavenly Father,we must all be HIS!

 
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I agree that the Father is crucial to the family and is God ordained. Let our Courts know this!!! For those of you who are unaware, our Court system has created
MOST "absentee dads" by not allowing them to be a part of their childrens lives and making it almost impossible to afford the child support orders. Wonder how many fathers will be in jail on Father's Day for an inability to pay their child support because of a job loss. Please, if you want this Country to get back to God, pray for the Fathers of this Country. Pray for the Legislators who need to change the presumption that Mother's should have sole legal custody, and Pray for the Judges who preside over these Family Law cases. Refuse to buy products from companies who portray the fathers, in their ads, as no more than an addlepated idiot, with the children disciplining the parents. God wants us to stand up with Righteous Indignation as HE did in the Temple with the money changers. Pray for the Father's position in the Family Law Courts, and you will change this Country! Grandparents have lost their standing in Family Law Courts too. Your Sister in Christ (and grandmother)

 
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I aggree that "illegitimate" is a poor choice of words. It is hurtful and serves no good purpose. "Out of wedlock" would be more sensitive and be more accurate as well.
If the "PC Police" strain at the words "illegal alien", surely we can do better with this.

 
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Illegitimate simply means: born to a woman and a man who are not married to one another. It holds no meaning other than that. We totally agree that all children are gifts from the Lord. Being born out of wedlock doesn't mean a child is any less loved by the Lord than any other. Thank you for your thoughts and blessings to all.

 
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I simply was thinking of a child, say ten years old, reading that they were illegitimate. The intentionality of meaning might be lost on them. (I have first hand experience with this)

 
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This devotion speaks of the births as being illegitimate. It does not call the children themselves illegitimate. It seems that by striving to be politically correct that sometimes people put their heads in the sand and do not address a problem. The children are legitimately God's creation, born in His image. That is most important to focus on. But the problems these children face by not having the support of two loving parents can not be solved by the rewording of terminology to mitigate their loss. Using the word illegitimate or not, there is still the problem and Pastor Bryant Wright was addressing it in hopes of shining God's light on it and bringing a better future for children and their fathers.

 
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I personally was Forced out of my child's life: by a corrupt court and a former spouse who wanted me out, and who commtted perjury over and over again until she got what she wanted: having ran me out of Money. I lasted for 5.5 years, whereas most contentius cases are over in three: and at which time one of the parents is very often driven off: more often than not, the father. However, the Crooks who operate our courts really don't care who gets the shaft: and will do whatever it takes to keep the fight going for as long as possible: so as to extract as much Loot as possible from every case. Our generated 120K.

Ther is also No accountability whatsoever for lawyers, supervisors, mediators, social workers, therapists, psychologists, etc.

The media is also doing almost nothing to expose what is going on: including Christian radio. Even Focus on the Family has remained silent. Pastors are also, for the most part, ignorant of the corruption, or doing very little to expose it.

For those who want to know more I suggest Alec Balwin's book: A Promise to Ourselves, or Taken into Custody by Stephen Baskerville.

To learn more simply do an internet search on Reforming the Family Courts, or Family Court Reform is Long overdue.

Randy B.

 

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